Rights - Wronged

I tend to play for keeps
So I lose a lot of me.
When I am focused in the flow
I forget about everybody.
Even if I happen to win,
The cost is too much,
My victory thin.

If you want to play
Tell me so.
I take my fun seriously
And my awareness is slow.
I notice unimportant things
And don't see the nose on my face.
My eyes strain in the distance
Though nearsighted in time & place.

The future was far
But you were right here.
I worried about the unknown
And in the present you disappeared.
In glancing at my rearview
I see where you were past.
When I put myself first
I left you waiting in last.

It does not do to mourn.
You deserved better than what you got.
It is an expensive lesson for us to learn.
How what didn't happen could have been a lot.
Choices are made
I accept my blame.
The price was paid.
And we've both received change.
Where I am is different than I expected.
And I am sorry I didn't "ride or die" for you
With my free will, you were not chosen as elected.

I am not bitter at others
For the way I behaved.
I hope you have better friends
Who know your value & have you saved.
As a contact I wish I had kept in touch.
Without an honest view of relationships
I've stumbled through roads blinded & rough,
Fallen through cracks, hung by fingertips.
And learned in time how to trust enough.

I look back to when we were friends
Not through dark clouds or rose colored lens.
It is not how we started but whether we've found ourselves by these ends.