Familiar - Pettiness

 I think I have figured it out again. I remember things well, but take for granted certain truths. When something becomes extremely familiar, I can't notice it anymore as easily.

Familiar: (adj.) 1. "Well known from long or close association." 2. "In close friendship; intimate."

So how can I describe something that I have known for so long and has probably changed so much over time?

[Because all things change in time. If not the object itself, my relationship to it changes through relativity with either itself, or the distance from everything else leaving us behind. To be at rest in relation to everything is to be stagnant, and movement is our signs of life. If I am not in motion in regards to things, I am at risk of being mistaken for being dead in my tracks.]

That parenthetical is not my main point, but a waypoint I have arrived at along the way. Related to the whole as support to where I am trying to reach.

And this is what inspires this. Parent and child. How an originating idea spawns smaller ideas along the way. How they relate to each other as each of them grows. Does the relationship between them become more tenuous as they branch out into their own further points? Will it become unwieldy and harder to recognize that one led to the other?

And it is questions like these that my mother asks me. It is answers that I give that frustrate her because they are not as blunt and quick as she would like to know. Some questions only lead to further branches of questions generated by her first question. As I try to distill what I know about some subject down to its simplest and most relevant state.

Because I care about being clearly understood. But occasionally, the method by which I am best able to reduce the opportunity of being misunderstood is to be comprehensive and long-winded. So here we are - I don't want you to get the wrong idea of what I am trying to say.

But there is a hazard in this comprehensive approach. In all the details provided, my audience may lose the thread and consider my explanation a labyrinth rather than a landscape.

So. I have brought my materials to the table so far. Thank you for your patience. My point is, rarely are things able to be both "simple" and "comprehensive". Even now, these words can be read differently.

Comprehensive: 1. "Complete, including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something." 2. "Relating to understanding."

See, the first use of it in the above paragraphs, I was thinking of the first definition - and to describe something in full can take a long time to communicate. The second definition? Well, that can be simple. Literally so, because people tend to think a "simple" concept as being very easily understandable or "easy to comprehend." But it is the assumption of a common understanding that leads to opportunities of the greatest misunderstanding. 

The things that go without saying are usually not said. Because that would be pedantic in the moment. Trying to explain something simply is very hard. Because it involves a level of precision, to be so exact and concise as to communicate in short time and words everything necessary to understand, not a word more or less. Emphasis on necessary. Which is a tricky concept because what is necessary is subjective from person to person.

Once again, I return to my relativity example in the parenthetical second paragraph. And relativity is relational. So when I am in a conversation, I have to figure out what my audience knows or holds in common with me in short steps. But this can be very difficult if I know a lot about the subject or the person to which I am talking. Because both of those relationships to knowledge and people took time to accumulate. And I have to figure out what is relevant given what I know about both. 

To which person am I speaking? It is easier to not update my impression of who I believe this person is in relation to me when I last checked. Because people are lazy and just eyeball the measurement as close enough. When you have seen something repeatedly over time, the edges and distinctions start to blur. It is like taking a long-exposure photograph. The subject is likely to move. And yet if I am taking the mental image of someone, it can be very upsetting if they have moved and now I can not define them as clearly and as simply in my mind. 

And, like in that Keane song I so enjoy and hold to be true: "Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same."

But this is the hazard with the familiar. If you don't pay attention to your relationship to it, it might flip on you and become unfamiliar. And discovering this is very disorienting to recognize.

And I am trying to be both general and specific in this post. To not list any particular grievances or place any blame along the way. Not because I am trying to hide something that exists, but rather I would prefer that anything resembling pettiness in my memories blur into being unrecognizable in my mind. I want to be a forgiving person who lets things go. I carry a lot of details in my mind because I find certain things interesting. And I don't want to have an interest in keeping perceived "wrongs" or "slights" that someone has placed on my path. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, my irritation with others in relation to me should be momentary. God is still working to shave off my rougher edges and I want to catch myself before I catch up against others and start friction. I would prefer if God changes me before I expect others to be changed by God's will to better suit me and my tastes.

Relentless - Slow

My nephew will be one soon. And he is adorable, strong, and relentless. He grins and chortles and insists on exploring areas which range from being gently prohibited to firmly so. He does not know the danger of the latter, but he remains curious to push boundaries. He has learned that it gains him attention and he delights in being seen.

I love all my nephews and one niece. They are different and love in their own ways. My older sister's oldest son really considers things and delights in telling others his observations. He is fascinated by cars and hiking in nature and points out things along the way, "Did you know this? I just learned this! This thing is worth noticing and it is exciting to be alive!" It is a joy to rediscover things through the lens of his understanding. The middle child had his adjustment period to not being the baby anymore, but he has grown proud of being an older sibling to someone. He lives without fear and is learning how to communicate effectively. He loves jumping off of new things, being suspended in space before gravity reclaims him. He has gotten into reading too, which is something I share - when immersed in a story the gravity of reality loosens it's grip on you as you explore someone else's narrative and headspace.

My younger sister has my niece being her oldest child. And my niece loves showing me things. "Look at this thing I can do. I can do it myself. Isn't it great? I know what I like and how to say 'no' to things I don't enjoy. But come with me and witness my domain as a princess - a queen to be someday, but my responsibilities weigh lightly and my freedoms are high within my small world." My sister's middle child is affectionate and sweet. He loves to cuddle with people and be involved. He watches people and waits for his chance to join in fully. He loves like few people I know. And I hope that trust is not diminished by disappointment or difficulty as life goes on. My younger sister's youngest son is a being of kinetic energy, laughing like a tiny greek god as he runs about working his will upon the world. He wants to carve his name and legacy into everything he encounters. He will rush to grow into his own strength and expand what he can do.

It is the way of the world that the younger generations grow up faster than those who came before. The road has been paved by the previous wave and they can see the way forward, and want to catch up to be alongside their forebearers to blaze the undeveloped trail. I see the relentless press of time through the lives and maturation of those around me. Time is relative and my young relatives are rapidly progressing through incremental fractions of their lifetimes by leaps and bounds.

It is a wonder to witness and it inspires me daily to press forward in my own development, slow though it may be. It takes time to learn and my heart is impatient, my mind not as elastic as my nephews who see everything as fresh and new. May the Lord grant me patience and perseverance on this next year to learn wisdom and apply it in my life.