Flood - Rush

Run, Run, it is all I ever do.
Fancy myself like the BBC's Doctor?
It takes more than merely that trait.
For he is good under pressure
And ever finds a way to save everyone.
I barely save myself in the course of a day.
Besides, as for my hair, it trends towards
The messiness of the jesting Smith,
Not the dashing cut of Tennant's kingly reign.

If I envision myself Nathaniel Ford from TNT's Leverage.
No, the description stops right there.
While I make last minute adjustments as well
His are like a chess game
(At which I hadn't the patience to excel).
No, mine are more akin to the delusions of Colin 'Chaos.'
Thinking I have it all sorted and failing nonetheless.
(Also, I haven't Wil Wheaton's legendary facial foliage).

Why should I think myself a writer?
Neil Gaiman's out of reach in offbeat imagination.
(His ideas have a flavor of an alternate world
Where the odd and everyday collide).
P.G. Wodehouse's plots are woven brilliance en masse.
(Though it is the same note 100 times over
The song feels pleasantly fresh).

No, I am happier enjoying others' work
and sittiing on the side of the pool
While my friends encourage me to jump
in and work out my own plots and paths.
Swimming lost its savor when so many
instructors told me I was doing it wrong -
I could stay above the water,
but not with grace and efficiency.

Why do my plots feel inhumane?
I don't like killing characters,
(it feels like a cheap cop-out on my
part - the character's death has to be
significant).
But I don't treat them as people either.
I am reluctant to take from my own life's
experiences, but am not learned enough
to make claims about another life.

The closest I come is Writeception -
Writing about writers writing characters.
It is horribly confusing who is telling the story.
If there is one thing I have learned from
the Dramatic Monologue style of poetry
It is that the narrator may not be trustworthy.
But, as you are observing events
through the speaker's eyes,
You must implicitly trust a little.

Is the Poet a puppetmaster behind the scenes?
Or a chronicler of small wonders in the day?
(Whether actually witnessed or imagined.)
Learned about the 'flaneur'
A french word ripe with meaning.
Describing a well off, intellectual who
Never buys things from stores.
He window shops and admires
But observes others participating
in the market system.

The flaneur is part of the scene,
but is really a parasite.
An attractive parasite,
but one nevertheless.
Poets are like that.
Can I be too?