Aerodynamic - Anniversary.

It has been my 252nd monoversary this past day, and I spent the first half of it worried about the things I must do over the next week.  Rest does not come easily justifiable to me, but the squandering of the morsels of wakefulness I am given appears pathological.  I needed to take a deep breath, watch over a twig firepit, and read a novel.



Too often I deny myself desired simple pleasures out of a self-policing reward system for completing difficult or distasteful tasks.  But this only serves to frustrate me and tempt me to distraction.  I am blessed with family and friends who forbear with my ornery and isolated periods.  I love them dearly, but sometimes am unable to communicate it to my own satisfaction or their understanding.

Overall, a quarter of my expected life has passed, but the best is yet to come. Allonsy!

I must confess,
I been blessed beyond most compare.
I made a Nathan Bourne card and amused us quite rare.
Then there was Gabraham Lincoln so sweet.
Handing out Pwn'age and dropping sick piano beats.
I was touched by their time, thankful for the meet.
In the days and years I've had, they make my life complete.
The kindness of a Savior, reflected in their eyes.
I watched an episode new
(of the 7th series Doctor Who).
But the real treat of these 252
Is sharing it with you guys.

Metaphorical - Cyclical

I am bothered. But that in itself is self-focused & not actionable. Like a discomfort at standing with cold feet on a hot tin roof, I am lukewarm. What has happened is that I have spoiled my appetites for a week of break. I stayed at home, having neither the inclination or the inkling of planning a vacation. I have an unhealthy respect for responsibility - I know that once assumed, it will be expected of me by any one who cares. I live in the invisible pressure of living up to my parents' expectations. I feel a vague sense of guilt for still living with them at the age of 20. I know I am privileged to have their patience, but I don't want to try that grace. I need to just fail already & get over my fear of its effects. I am at the edge of my window in which it is not only permissible to fail, but expected as a healthy part of life. We're chucking dodgeballs at one another.  Though the hits we sustain sting, they are not the hail of stones or flurry of backstabbing knives that could be. In the end, I have little to defend myself. I just need to strip my thin skin to collect samples. Put my life in perspective. I am blessed. Truly am. But for a person with small issues, he needs to place them under the microscope to make them bigger. Tiny cake crumbs caused the rhino in Kipling's "Just So Stories" acute discomfort, but the circumstances for that revenge were made possible by the creature's arrogance.

Wanted - Purpose

After two prose pieces, I must reexamine my motivations behind creating this. What is this? It is but a dartboard for my mind, throwing projectiles in thought from an ever-changing quiver.

Will I seek truth in all of its depth?
When all is seen dimly & I'm out of breath.
What is my trajectory?
Have I an inkling?
My thoughts are a factory
Even in sleep hardly ceasing.
But what will I do with the products I create?
They are sometimes amusing, but their utility is innate.
Puzzling through the eyes of a renewed vigor -
What a wondrous life, as my responsibilities sprout bigger.
No, I can not pause to reflect - the deadlines are creeping.
Yet I hang on the this idea that things are not as they seem.
What is the larger picture? I don't have all time.
Just what is bestowed, and the skills I cultivate through rhyme.
Why this fascination? Shall I ever behold.
A city built by divine hands?
With avenues more precious than gold.
Oh it will be beyond imagining.
Vanity like chasing the storm.
Power is elusive, and is not long worn.
Time will claim us all, no matter how fast we run.
I will not fight the end, where I shall meet and embrace the Son.
Oh my brother, how clever you are.
Hiding in plain sight, and thine works show you not afar.
Thank you for these moments, their brevity makes them prized.
I hold fast to Your hope, trailing in Your strides.
Yes, this shall not last very long.
But my day will not be wasted.
Your mysteries intrigue me to plunge headlong.
Never leave me, please forbear my moods.
I am yet learning, patience and the art of not being rude.
I am oblivious until I am not.
Tenacious to what I hold, it is everything for which I've fought.
Death is not as fearful with the promise of you.
I regret only those I love and leave behind.
But await when I shall see them in bodies renewed.