Metaphorical - Cyclical

I am bothered. But that in itself is self-focused & not actionable. Like a discomfort at standing with cold feet on a hot tin roof, I am lukewarm. What has happened is that I have spoiled my appetites for a week of break. I stayed at home, having neither the inclination or the inkling of planning a vacation. I have an unhealthy respect for responsibility - I know that once assumed, it will be expected of me by any one who cares. I live in the invisible pressure of living up to my parents' expectations. I feel a vague sense of guilt for still living with them at the age of 20. I know I am privileged to have their patience, but I don't want to try that grace. I need to just fail already & get over my fear of its effects. I am at the edge of my window in which it is not only permissible to fail, but expected as a healthy part of life. We're chucking dodgeballs at one another.  Though the hits we sustain sting, they are not the hail of stones or flurry of backstabbing knives that could be. In the end, I have little to defend myself. I just need to strip my thin skin to collect samples. Put my life in perspective. I am blessed. Truly am. But for a person with small issues, he needs to place them under the microscope to make them bigger. Tiny cake crumbs caused the rhino in Kipling's "Just So Stories" acute discomfort, but the circumstances for that revenge were made possible by the creature's arrogance.