I want to start this with a journey. It is a known quantity that Philadelphia is "The City of Brotherly Love". And as a young child, I loved their football team's colors and decided to be an Eagles fan in the era of Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb. It should be simple and pure to love your brother. But, alas, the city itself had to be complicated, its citizens generally having some of the most curious relationship of fierce love and hate for their teams and any visitors. I have been there twice over the years, and was lectured on the proper way to order an authentic Philly Cheesesteak. Which involved short commands and cheese-whiz. These guidelines are antithetical to my Midwestern sensibilities.
So that which is a real experience sometimes involves fake food and bluntness. And I don't like that. I like to take my time and tell a story I find interesting. The journey is more than the destination. But brotherhood is a complicated thing. God bless Philly for reinforcing that point with their unapologetic authenticity and difficulty.
Because I have a brother and he is stunning. He is sharper than I am, in both word and deed. He is electrifying and ambitious. We are both competitive, but he is more honest about it than I am. He lives his life to an alert purpose - when he works, he does with his whole self. And the same with leisure - his rest and regathering has its own purposefulness to it. I admire his focus and throughness, his decisiveness and charm.
But it is hard for us to understand each other at times. I like to defer to him, but my passivity may annoy him at times. I have giftings, but I hesitate to show them to others, and sometimes squander opportunities by analyzing them too long before acting. I am working to course correct this through habits, but that is not the focus here. The focus is my brother and our relationship. I love him dearly and to watch him act is a thing of beauty and economy. He will find the most efficient way to accomplish things. But I don't think that way - I go through life as a narrative and delight in making interesting choices, which do not always lead to the most direct route. Why do I do this? I guess because I like to be surprised, even by myself. But I realize this can be frustrating behavior when my actions involve more than myself. So I am apologetic and patient when being upbraided for the loss of time.
I love my brother, but we are not alike. We might have similar motivations, but different manifestations and triggers of what spurs us to act. And there are times I could look back and regret that I didn't do certain things at certain times in our relationship. But it is wasteful, wistful thinking to indulge. My brother and I chose different things at different times, shaping and being shaped by our current circumstances to be who we are now. Because of and in spite of intentions along the way and how we interacted with each other, our family, our friends.
So I am often thinking of my brother, and keep on wishing him well. It is always nice to see him and where his talents and ambitions have taken him. I want him to be able to enjoy and live his life to his full potential and joy, and have people around him who recognize his value and support that vision. I want people to love my brother in all his complexity, because brotherly love is multifaceted and I don't have the capacity to love him in all the ways he deserves. I have to accept my limitations and pray for him that God can meet his needs and wants where I fall short. My brother does not need my help, but I ever want to give it to him. I am not my brother's keeper, but I want to be his supporter if I can be there for him.
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