Moderation - Control

There are days when I wake at dawn and refuse to rouse myself. The rest is a wonderful part of life - there is a balance of activity and stillness in life. I know that my life is enriched when I live a disciplined and fulfilling life, but find it a struggle. I know not the minds of others, and from my view it appears that some people have mastered the strokes of life, while I just tread water and survive.

I love anticipation, so much so that it often overwhelms the actual event which I am awaiting. It is the suspense - is it to be all that I dreamed it could be? Will it be even better? The waiting is the knowing that there is something more than the moment, something which to look forward.

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."

This passage gives me hope - for if my Lord and Savior saw fit to suffer for the sake of mankind, my daily struggles are as ash to the fire lit in my soul. There have been righteous men and women in the ranks of history. "Of whom the world was not worthy" - Hebrews 11 lists in detail the persecution and pain the saints underwent for the name of Christ. If they did not relent, how can we? The evidence of their faith was the love and passion that they held, even unto death, they clung to the assurance of Christ's blood and salvation. There is a marked difference between this love of God and the extremists of 9/11. While Christ followers offer themselves up as a living sacrifice, they do not take the lives of others into their own hands. That right to life is between a soul and his God, and is not for us to decide.

Restraint is an action that is hard for me to enact. It comes with practice, and as with a muscle, takes exercise, dedication, and an end goal in mind. I need to remember that there is more at stake than what meets my physical eyes. The monotony of the everyday grind is an illusion. There are things in which I may take joy that have no cost but the time it would take to enjoy them. Money is a placeholder, it cannot buy the simple pleasure of dancing and laughing in the storm of a summer day, the warm embrace of sunlight that plays over your clothes, the caress of a spring breeze's refreshment. We tried to substitute human devices for the greater majesty of nature, with our showers, clothes dryers, and electric fans.

Perspective is key to enjoying what we do possess, rather than craving the items and services that we do not. I am thankful for today, and hope to focus on the greater weave of the tapestry of life, rather than the knots of the details. The little snarls hold the whole together, but are soon lost to sight when compared to the surrounding pattern. Control is a tricky subject, I need the discernment to know when take the reins, and when to step back and learn from the experience of another's wisdom and expertise.

I shall not dwell on the past mistakes I have made, but hope and look in the future for opportunities to try my hand again. "Why do we fall, Master Bruce? That we might learn to pick ourselves back up again." - Alfred (Batman Begins; Christopher Nolan)