Plants - luckless

It happened I was thinking of plants today,
Though I have a withering thumb [green ones ran out before me. :(].
I still water, I keep digging in hopes that my efforts will yet yield something.
For every rose has its thorns, the needles - their thread.
I have a cursed touch, plants around me fall dead.
Even with a grass trimmer I am green's bane.
My path leaves behind a dirty brown train.
This drought hasn't amended my annihilating ways.
I hope for rainfall, instead of humidity and sun's intense gaze.
I'll take a storm over the weight of warm,
The thunder and lightnings reign; The wind in the trees
And the wet airborne seas, that flood earthwards into bountiful gain.
So the vegetation below, the plants drink and grow.
These yellowed Rose of Sharons to rise.
(I bear the fault of those flower's untimely demise).
I had been told to uproot, these misnamed bushes' sapling shoots,
Then left them in a bucket in my car.
By the time I arrived home, the spouts had sagged low.
Intervention through inundation was due!
That operation was doomed, they had sent out last blooms.
Their stalks have shriveled and curled.
Those Sharon's roses have fallen, on hard times they are crawling -
For the chances of their survival are slim.
But I'll do what I can, though no garden fan.
I sure hope that these plants can swim.
(Gushing rubber hose...)

Connectedness - Isolation

I was willing to throw myself into the gears of the internet. While I was initially reluctant to have even an email account, I now have a blog (this and and my reviewing FalchionFiction one), a facebook page, a twitter account, and now Google +. Yet with all this activity and profiling, I haven't gained anything of value or meaning. People are usually too concerned with creating their own material to notice mine.

It is a freeing thought to imagine that whatever I say, only people that care will find it and understand. I don't consider things sometimes, and muse to myself a lot. It is nice to know that others are as interested as me in the consideration of ideas. As aforementioned, yes, I am available online as a willing responder to questions asked. However, I am entertained even if no one has the time or inclination to do so.

I find people and their idiosyncrasies to be interesting and even endearing in some cases. I may not have many to comment on what I have to say, but I know I am heard by those who matter.
I love quotes and the thought put behind a clever turn of phrase or observation. Parameters force people to be creative, and that is where I believe Twitter received its allure. Why 140 characters? Because it should make you think twice before you share something - can you think of a better word to convey what you really mean? Of course, there are trolls and fools to be found in any media, wanting to be noticed.

I don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings when I put myself on the line. In my mission to provoke others to think, I want to be as wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove. (Matthew 10:16)

Deadlines - Lifelines

I procrastinate a little, but I do try to meet requirements when the time requires. I love libraries, for they call me out on my habits. A book, or any item for that matter, is more interesting and precious when owned by someone else. You are a steward of the said something until the owner reclaims it. I have had stacks of books that I collect from the library shelves that look intriguing, have a good title, or are by a favored author of mine. The tricky part is "Where to begin?" Do I hold an obligation to complete previous novels and tomes before I crack open a more recent find?

This waffling paralyzes me from doing anything at all. The simple solution would to be to take what is at hand and enjoy it for what it reveals. If it isn't interesting, that is one less from my stack, clearing the space for a more suitable read. If the book manifests as a page turner - I ride it for all it is worth. In savoring a rich adventure, my life is that much more improved. I need not worry about the others I am not experiencing, my time is invested in the present. When I complete the tale, I will repeat the process.

The time you have with a library book is valued, for you know that you cannot hold onto it forever, procrastinating a meeting with the knowledge and players within. So it is with my life and the lives I love. We are given this life, but we know instinctively that we will not always have the promise of tomorrow. I must learn to take in the moment as I do a book - analyzing, reading between the lines, anticipating the next twist, drinking in with a smile in my face. It is an honor to have a window to the Author's mind. That is a double entendre, but a happy one - As I have access to those brave souls who put their imagination on display, the Creator of the Universe left a testimony to His-story, the love He has for us, and His plans for the future.

My life is His, and while I live on His grace and the time He has granted me. I will live as if my actions have purpose, my life to be a reflection of the Most High. He is my Father, and I His adopted son.

"Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." John 15:15

"But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:9-18

Thoughtless - Void

There are some days I merely enjoy, forget to post until late evening. This is to be a discipline for me to state my thoughts. The highlight of my day was learning the backstory of the french electronica duo Daft Punk, then dancing while listening to their 2007 Alive remix of "One More Time/Aerodynamic." It is virtually impossible for me not to move when listening to that track.

I need the motivation, the stimulus to move - the boldness to act and not mind what others consider. I enjoy spending time with younger children, they are so full of wonder and interest in their surroundings. Sometimes, I dance step a little while they stare - I think it is healthy for them to learn that just because you are older than them, it doesn't mean you stop having fun. Too many young adults are paralyzed by the thought of how others view them. I would rather rejoice in the life I have been given by God. I have a wonderful family, and friends who encourage my eccentricities as I smile at theirs. I like spending time with those who love life as much as I do.

Let them stare, let them wonder. I may act the fool, but it is out of the wisdom of Socrates - That the wisest man is the one who admits readily that he knows nothing. I am a child of the most High, and I will take joy in the creation he has made, in the freedom he has bestowed, and the grace by which my life was bought. May my lifesong resound His Praise. Amen.

"Seems I've imagined Him all of my life as the wisest of all of Mankind.
But if God's holy wisdom is foolish to man
He must have seemed out of his mind.
Even His family said he was mad.
And the priests said 'A demon's to blame.'
But God in the form of this angry young man
Could not have seemed perfectly sane.

We in our foolishness thought we were wise,
He played the Fool and He opened our eyes.
We in our weakness believed we were strong,
He became helpless to show we were wrong.
And so we followed God's own Fool, for only the foolish can tell.
Believe the unbelievable, come be a fool as well.

So come lose your life for a carpenter's son.
For a madman who died for a dream.
And You'll have the faith His first followers had
And you'll feel the weight of the beam.
So surrender the hunger to say you must know,
Find the courage to say I believe.
For the power of paradox opens your eyes
And blinds those who say they can see." - Michael Card "God's Own Fool"

Anxiety - Hope

"It's like a clock ticking slow in a waiting room. It's like a doctor calling, but he's got no news. My heart keeps racing, I don't know what to do - You're giving me anxiety! Like a message in a bottle that nobody read; the famous last words that nobody said. Tell me what is wrong tonight - You're giving me anxiety!" - Anxiety, Good Charlotte (Greatest Remixes)

"Don't Panic!" I love that slogan that Douglas Adams made synonymous with the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy. It is so easy to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the problem at hand, the solutions lie neglected in the corners of your mind. I have a tendency to over-think matters, afraid that my actions will render an even more disastrous result.

But a failure to act at all leaves the possibility that the problem could grow worse and become more urgent. Make a decision and stick to it, it makes things simpler, but be sure to consult another person if you have the time. Do not act rashly, for reason has a tendency to desert your decision making at the time.

About the larger problem of Anxiety - it won't leave you, fear is ever present. I am told that former students have final exam nightmares years after graduation. War veterans still wake in cold sweat, hyperventilating from muscle memory and adrenaline spikes. But, I don't live in fear. I remind myself that I am a servant of the Most High, the Creator of the Universe. If I am in His hands, nothing can separate me from the purest love in the world. These trials today are but shadows of what heaven is to be. This is all I have in my grasp - I cannot control many things and variables, but I can strive to put forth my best efforts and put it all on the line.

"In all my years as a priest, I have learned two truths: There is a God, and I am not Him." Father Cavenaugh, Rudy

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." - Ephesians 6:13

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." - Romans 8:31-37

Blood - Blows

"War makes good men better and bad men worse." - Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain

I like this quote and this man. Partially out of the fact that he is portrayed so nobly by Jeff Daniels in Gettysburg and Gods and Generals. Also, because he was a professor of rhetoric, a thinking man in a campaign. His observations and accounts of his days in the field are insightful and descriptive. War fascinates the hearts of many young men, it is romanticized in our legends, warriors of old are revered and honored. It is almost always the past conflicts that people raise their glasses towards, remembering those who have fallen on the field of battle.

"War will make corpses of us all." - Faramir, Return of the King (Peter Jackson)
"It is well that War is so terrible, lest we grow too fond of it." - Robert E. Lee

We long to do something to be remembered, but war is not the arena to do so. Too many lives are lost in the pursuit of glory. Few things are worth the fight to claim them, and I hope we do not seek conflict, hold grudges, or seek revenge. There are more deaths in conflicts than merely upon a battlefield, some rot from hate and malice that burn larger holes than any bullet could ever cause.

Lay your weapons down, there are no enemies in front of you." - Jars of Clay (Weapons; Long Fall Back to Earth.).

Forgive and turn the other cheek. Grace comes to all of us from the Father, and we should have the strength of character to die for his name, without needing to strike a blow of offense.

Florish - Sprezzatura

Some people float through life so easily. As if boundaries, limitations, and fear are as mist to the keel of their boats. They drive forward with a purpose, focused on their goal. All this is done with the social equivalent of a smile and a bow.

There were some days I saw these people and thought them fakers, then realized that because I didn't feel like that, I felt no one had a right to do so. That was so laughably selfish - it was not my concern whether they were on masquerade or genuine. I was responsible for my own behavior and reactions, I could not fault another for having the follow-through to do something I wished I could.

We all have areas that need polish, if not major construction. But I may choose to learn from what I see in others, rather than bemoan their successes. We all have interests and skill sets that come naturally to ourselves, sometimes so much so that we take it for granted everyone can do the same.

For instance - I have proportional strength, one that can support myself on a competent level, but not overly impressive in bench pressing. I didn't commit my time and efforts to training to overcome this obstacle, and I would be foolish to expect it ex nihilo. I have a memory that retains facts and trivia, a database of quotes, anecdotes, and stories. However, there are some of my caliber who have honed this asset into constructing "Memory Palaces." This is a mental construct that uses the imagination to shape a Three dimensional place in the mind to store items and imbue them with meanings. A card catalog system with style. Gamblers and Magicians can memorize placements of cards in a standard deck using this discipline.

I, however, am daunted by the magnitude of the idea. My mind is more akin to an ancient English Manor inhabited by Post-Modernist artist. Some new facts, some old bits, all juxtaposed and discovered at inconvenient times - usually appearing when the tools are not applicable to the current situation.

I cannot do many things, and refuse to attempt others. I am thankful that I have friends and family to keep me straight and correct my blunders before they cause disasters. They forgive me my faults, as I try to compensate for their blind spots when they risk being exposed. Friendship is a two way street, and I am glad for a few nudges to keep me in the right lane. Whenever something is not natural for you, there are three courses: Quit, Try harder, or Find Someone who can do it. The first is not an noble option, so I would advise one of the latter two.