Pitch - Black

*Hiss-sssss-**Crack**-sss* The chilled beverage in my hand expands slightly, taking in air to its sealed contents. It gives off a strong scent of sweet grape concentrate - the quest for it is always a serendipitous tale. It is Mountain Dew: Pitch Black, an elusive and difficult find. The brilliant manufacturers of the drink ensured that it would be available for a limited time over the summer. Its existence would be sustained through online voting and intercession online.

However, until it is solidified as a MD mainline, it is frustratingly hard to obtain: It is only available at the occasional drugstore or gas station convenience stops. Its only incarnation is in an aesthetically pleasing, but otherwise cumbersome 20 oz bottle.

No 2-liters, or even 12 packs of cans. Why is this brilliant? Because this difficulty adds to the mystique of the drink - it intrigues MD fanpeople to seek it out and pay more for less. It is usually offered at $1.59 for the 20 oz bottle, 2 for $2.50 at select gas stations. A 2-liter of MD mainline or Voltage (the blue raspberry flavor which I prefer) can be found easily at the buck and a quarter proportion of the latter, with over three times the capacity at 67.5 oz.

Mountain Dew is fortunate - this venture could have sunk useless bottles in overstock everywhere, but their gambit paid off. Fans on Facebook may complain, but they are also secretly conceited to have stockpiles of Pitch Black in the event of a cancellation.

However, I am sure that Pitch Black will override the berry-flavored SuperNova and the citrus-inspired WhiteOut, to make it as a permanent flavor until the next annual competition. What fools are all of us to participate in this marketing game.

*gulp-"ahhhh!"-(sigh)* Oh well, it tastes like cough syrup with a sugar boost and caffeine kick.